Black Friday

Today is Black Friday...../.\

I didn't go to the clinic today, because I am having English speaking exams later in the afternoon.

Oh dear, I am really in love with this job.

I am really determined to be a great doctor! It's really a great relief that I didn't faint when I saw blood, though a little shiver, but I am sure I will get through it. I hope I will get through it. 

Wednesday night, when I went to a speaking workshop, and then I found out I have the ability to say random stuff. Like just pictures and I just said everything I can think of. I think this is because I have training in Hin Hua. Hahahahahahaha so proud of myself thanks a lot to Hin Hua. 

Yesterday Kumar asked about my name. Then he said, I think I will call you 'Jasmine', then I really found out that maybe I really need an English name. I don't know. Ali didn't quite approve of the name Jasmine. Then Kumar said there's another girl, Form 5, volunteering in the clinic as well, on weekends. Her name is Vanessa, Kumar said he called her Rose. I think I also won't be going on Saturday and Sunday, because we all need to learn. Though the more the merrier,  but I think more really doesn't mean good. I have the chance to come for 5 days, Vanessa has 2, although I look forward to meet her and be friends, but not now. I hope for the best for the both of us. Good luck to Vanessa! :)

Day 3

Today I went to school in the morning.

After finishing errands, hurried to go to the clinic.

Today there is no surgery.

Only 6-7 patients. 

So we just very free, relaxed and joke.

Hahahahahahahaha laugh die me.

Atif took the day off today.

Tomorrow I won't be coming as well because I got speaking exams.

As for Ali, he will take the day off tomorrow.

The cat who had the wiring surgery, is still alive! When I asked Ali, he had this :/ face and then sighed and shook his head,and said:" Just relaxing." So the cat is still alive and was taken home today. All for the best! 

I showed Ali the poster of our society and I told him I am the president. He said that I am a very impressive girl. I really like that compliment. Thank you. 

Today is just full of laughter. April is this lady in her 40s but to me she is like a mother AND a child. Hahahahaha.... She had most of the colleagues laughing, and I laughed until stomach pain. 

She took the bells of the animal collars and did this panjabi dance, really entertaining. And she tried to recite in some language (Tamil? Hindi?) that made Madi almost had his tea coming out from his nostrils (he said his nose is hot). Madi said that April is a sexy woman, because she is fun to hang around, haha, I really love her. She loved her daughter and said that she herself is much more like a daughter than a mum. Yesterday April's daughter came to the clinic, but I already went home, April said when her daughter came, Ali is very shy. Hahahahahaha!!!

Ali is a really young man, 23, he and Atif came from Pakistan. He is handsome, and likes to joke. He called April "Aunty, Aunty" and then want her to sayang him. Hahahahahahahaha... I dunno this is making me confusing but I heard Madi said Ali is married. To a Malay girl. Then Madi said he doesn't really like Malay girls, because he seen some pregnant at very young age and stuff. Then when Ali came back from April's I asked him if he got children. His eyes wide open, then I said I thought he was married. He asked me who told me he was married. I said Madi, and they say I misunderstood. But I don't even know what is Madi trying to tell me. Then Ali said "No, I am not married." And the suddenly said "Yes, I am married." So now I am really confuse la! -.- I learned that he came to the clinic 5 months ago and is a fast learner. Atif on the other hand, has came for 2 years yet still require hard work. 

As for Madi, he had a family in India. His daughter graduated from university. He showed me pictures. Her name is Nandhini. It's a very pretty name to me.

I showed them pictures of stars taken by a graduate and talk about my society. And then my father is from Hong Kong. I feel happy talking to them.

They are really wonderful people. I feel so blessed. I wish I know how to joke more but I'm not that joking type of person, I only know how to laugh. Haha...

Everyday I just feel so lucky. Gratitude and thankful.

I wish that if in the future there are anytime when we don't have that much customers, I can actually ask them to teach me how to suture! I think it's wonderful! 

I will really do my best! 

Day 2

Second day is as amazing as yesterday.

I tried to do notes only at break, because I cannot take my notebook and pen in every situation, might be disturbing and uncomfortable, but the problem is I have really bad memory. So here again, unable to jot down every situation, following the notes and my own memories, and write a day's work.

I arrived in the morning, only to find out that a cat died during the night, possibly of heart failure. I don't feel sad, it's sudden death, so it's just come and go. And because I have no memory of seeing this cat in diagnosis so possibly it has been sick for a long time. The stray puppy yesterday taken to the clinic by a man also died.

Patient is a beagle (haha, finally got do notes), basically appetite problem.  Wet food by force to the throat and a few pills.

As for the following there are no more in correct order. 

There are dogs infected by skin irritation. I think ticks are really dangerous, like how they just suck off the blood and come in large numbers. But is easy to handle, bug-killers and comb has reduce the risk to half. As for the more serious type, are maggots. They feed on flesh. So this dog with maggot infection is very serious, two very deep holes about the size of a joint of a pinky, the maggots must have been taken out but the wound needs disinfection and is done by applying cream.

A Labrador is sick, possibly of lung failure and gastric, did blood test. Atif taught me how to identify a sickness by smelling. For example, if a dog has bad breath, possibly of gastric, I think is same as humans, when I had gastric, I always burp, letting the gas out. So I think the dog also lets the gas out resulting bad breath. Also they taught me how to see if a dog or cat is dehydrated. You have to pinch and twist the skin gently. If the skin goes back to it's original condition quickly and smoothly, it means the animal is well hydrated. If it takes time to regenerate back, then it is dehydrated. 

Dogs ears are quite sensitive to me. So it's very important to clean them. So there is this furry dog with flappy ears, and they had to clean the ears to prevent itchiness, using cotton and cleaning medicine. Also to prevent the dog from hurting itself by scratching, they also have to cut the nails. But the thing is, animal nails, the base is connected to blood vessels. So if you cut too deep, it will bleed, and the dog will yelp and it must be painful for the dog. And it bleeds quite lot, to stop the bleeding, apply potassium on cotton and dab the wound.

I also saw the spaying of a female cat. Yesterday's a dog. Atif did the surgery. So the cat was still kitten, and aggressive as well, when giving anesthesia she almost went crazy, and she won't sleep, so had to give second jab. The surgery didn't went so smoothly like the dog, because Atif is still learning and has less experience compare to the others. And since the reproductive system of a cat is much smaller than a dog, so also puts up the challenge. Atif took out the intestines on first try, had difficulties locating the uterus. Once located, same procedure as yesterday, tighten blood vessels, remove the organ, suture. Ali was watching, and drew me the anatomy of a cat, simple cartoon form, circle and oval shaped organs, showing me how to locate the uterus. His first drawing is a failure. He drew the heart on the right side, the intestine between the lungs and the bladder in the wrong place. Then he finally give up and said:"okay, this cat dead." And then drew me another one, don't have picture here with me but u can always google. So when the suturing step, the stitches don't look very nice, like uneven and looks like it swollen. Ali said the customer don't care what we did inside, but the outside must be nice, so Atif had to remove the stiches and suture again. The whole surgery was finished in 32 minutes, everyone is happy, Atif is relieved, everyone congratulated him. Then I learned that the ideal time to complete the surgery is actually 15 minutes or below, that is Ali's record. But well done to Atif anyways! 

Another surgery is the wiring of the upper and lower jaw of a cat yesterday, the operation done by Dr. Mathews. He used stainless steel wire instead of nylon thread. The thing to be done is the jaw of the cat separated, so has to use wire to fix them together and let them heal. The whole operation is successful, just blood coming out and I have to resist the painfulness of jabbing wire into the flesh. Overall, its like putting braces. After the surgery, Ali said that he can see that the cat won't last until tomorrow, which means by tomorrow it will die. I am not so sure by myself. 

Another cat came in the morning, light grey and white fur. The owner said it went missing for a few days and when it came home it looks like it's suffering. The doctor say no broken bones, but if it encounter an accident, maybe it's internal damage. Very serious, very dehydrated. Doctor offered the cat to stay in clinic and use drip-feed.

Dr. Mathew also taught me what a microchip is. Basically is a electronic microchip that is injected to an animals body. Something like an IC. For identification. 

A cat came to remove the stiches from post-surgery. Easy job I think for doctor, scissors and done.

There is also this treatment called ear cropping for particular dogs. Like some dogs who are born to have straight facing-front ears, will then flop down due to some reason, then the doctor have to use like planks and such to make the ear straight again. It's for the beauty of the dog. Like if u don't like your curly hair u have to go to salon and make it straight. Another example is docking of tail. I think that is really painful, same like plastic surgery.

A dog, front paw injured by its owners fence. Stiches and disinfection.

The longest surgery did today is the removal of a joint of a dog. When I first saw the dog, left front leg amputated. But then the joint also need to be taken out. Unfortunately I didn't get to see the surgery ongoing. When I came there they were already doing the suture part and there is so MUCH blood. And then I saw the bone of a joint, bloody! Want to keep as souvenir but they throw away already.

So I want to go back to the light grey and white fur cat earlier. Too bad it died in the evening. I was wandering around the room, then I saw the cat lying with his head in a pool of yellow water, urine la, and then the newspaper under it also absorbed yellow urine. I noticed it's chest weren't moving. It's eyes wide open but doesn't blink. So I went to touch the side of the eyes. By touching the side of the eyes and observing if it's blinking u can know whether the animal is alive or dead. No blinking, just died. So I went to tell Atif and Ali, but they had no clue about the cat, because it was only me and Dr Mathew and a nurse in the exam room that time. Atif and Ali went out for lunch. My heart is racing, just by identifying a dead cat. Internal damage. And there was white foam on the mouth too. Then they proceeded to check up on the jaw-broke cat and surprisingly, still alive. At first I also thought its dead, because shaking the cage the cat won't even budge. Then I saw the light breathing, okay la, at least still breathing. Still got hope. 

Today got another pregnant dog coming. Is a poodle. Cure. The owners noticed it's discharged but no babies coming out. They went to see another doctore and the doctor said need to do surgery immediately. They came to us, and by learning she was only pregnent for 1 month and 27/28 days (should be 64days), baby might not be ready to come out yet so need to wait. Ali gave the dog an injection to contract the muscles. After 2 hours, a first baby is born, but died. After 30 minutes, a second baby born, alive and yapping happily. Once the puppy came out from the vulva, the doctors have to tear off a thin membrane around the newborn, giving it oxygen, then had to cut off belly button as well. Kumar said: God is great. The time gap between each baby is long, possible 30 minutes everytime. When the 4th baby comes out, it's already 5 and my mother came to fetch me.

In the process of the birth, a rabbit came. Not only dogs and cats huh? Rabbit got eye allergy, so just give eye drops.

Also a dog, serious injury I think, the liver swollen very badly, yet Dr Mathew is out and the others have no idea what to do, only to wait. And by that time I had to go home, so I didn't get to see any further diagnosis.

That's what happened today. 

Again I have to say how nice the people are. Love everyone. Just how possibly a vet can be so charming. I know to be gentle to animals also lead to be gentle to humans. But human doctors don't really does that, do they? Amazing perfect everyone! 

Everyone likes to joke. Like during surgery, Ali will start joking and the atmosphere is relaxed. And they have seen more dead animals than I do so they must really be positive at all times, so they joke. I really like it when they joke. 

They said that I am a really lucky girl. They say they like my smile and my eyes. Hahaha so flattered. Even some owners saw me and ask what is my purpose and they will wish me luck too! I am getting much more confident in this career. Of course I am not going to stop learning and loosen down. I will do my best. Atif said:"One day, I will be a great doctor." And then he will look at me and say:"After 6,7 years, you will be a great doctor." I really like Atif because he has ambition and eagerness. He said he like me for my courage. 

I still don't get use to the environment, because I am still unsure of what instruments there are. I don't know the things order. I do things in a slow pace because of uncertainty. I hope to change that first. Fast, quick and accurate. Will try to do notes on smartphones. Easier. Haha. Also I thought of learning the stitching/suture process. But I think I still need improvement in other areas than to step up so quickly. I will do it step by step.

I am really grateful. 

My first day as a volunteer

So my mum asked me to write this sort of journal of my first day as a volunteer in an animal clinic.

Actually I agreed as well because I did no record during the whole day, yet if I want to apply to a specific university in the future, I have to. So here goes, and first, I am VERY thankful for Dr. Matthew Thomas for letting me volunteer in his clinic, and his experience for 30 years, I am sure be able to learn a lot. And gratitude for April, Ali, Atif, Kumar, Madi, and some who I haven't known their names (for this I am very sorry), they helped me a lot! Thank you for my mother for recommending this clinic to me. Thanks for April for recommending me another clinic due to my own good but then it didn't work out because there's another volunteer learning there now. Thanks for Yap's Animal Clinic and Surgery because even though there is no space available at the moment, but they suggest me to go next year, so I still have the opportunity to learn more.  I also wished for the very same luck for tomorrow and near future.

So when I first entered the clinic, they showed me around the area, the two rooms for their surgeries, one room for x-ray and grooming, and a small area at the back arranged with cages of different breeds of dogs and cats.

Our first patient is a dog, I don't know it's breed (cons for not recording at present), with appetite problems, vomiting, and diarrhoea. So the doctors there showed me how they open the dog's jaw without getting bitten, and then had to feed him wet food. Then came the medicines, in tablets and with minor force, let the dog swallow the pills. And then some injections and the dog is good enough to rest. I don't remember the order in coming of the patients (cons for not recording #2), so I shall list them for what I remembered.

I saw how they do a blood test. A machine that dilute blood, 3 different strips to check on conditions based on the liver, kidneys, and heart muscles. The dog today has problems with it's liver.

A cat in an accident went for a x-ray check, learning that it's upper and lower jaw had a fracture, due to it's unstable condition (fright and pain), the doctor suggest to do surgery tomorrow morning, called 'wiring'.

The first dog to be put in surgery today, is spaying. To stop it from reproducing. It's a female so the reproductive system inside has to be removed. If it's a male (I asked), then we should remove it's testicle. So first is to give the dog anaesthetic so it feels relaxed and little pain. A machines is connect to it's tongue to measure heart rate and beat. Then an incisor is cut through her belly (sorry no photos), the doctor then has to find it's reproductive system, including the uterus, Fallopian tube, and ovaries, then he will tie the blood vessels (needle and nylon thread, clamps and sutures), and cut of the uterus followed by the ovaries. Finally he will suture the incision, from the flesh, and then from the skin. Lastly is to apply disinfection and cream, so the wound will heal and glues the skin back together. 

Another case is that a pregnant dog, large unknown breed, has problem labor through the vagina, so the doctor has to help her reproduce by c-section (abdomen). The problem is that the uterus are in c-shaped, blocking the pathway through the vagina, so a surgery has to done. The procedure is similar to the one in spaying. So the uterus had to be taken out, which is like half a meter long with little babies inside. Incision the made in the uterus, and puppies are taken one by one. Altogether there are 7 puppies, but unfortunately, only 2 survived. The mother is in good condition.

There are 2 surgery cases which a dog has an ear infection, causing the ear to swell with blood clotting inside. The surgery is simple, incision through the ears, remove the blood clots, and suture the flesh. One is quite challenging, for the blood clots has hardened and it's difficult to remove the clots. When suturing the ear is still a bit swollen, maybe further action is to be done. The other one is less swollen, blood flows out easily.

Another surgery I encountered is simple, plain flesh slit and the bones can be seen. Treatment is to suture the flesh together and done.

Today I have been told to have 6-7 surgeries, I encountered 5 of them. I watched with my eyes but is still not experienced enough to do it with my own hands. I am happy and satisfied.

The followings are normal check-ups.

Such as more in stomach pain, appetite problems, diarrhoea, and vomiting. Puppies for vaccination. Others include fever, ticks and infection. Some are cured by having a shot, some given medicines.

There is this old mother and daughter with their healthily looking dog, to me it's more like obese, to the clinic, for I remembered a little ear cleaning and nails. I am really doubtful by the size of the dog, it's a small breed (same size like corgis) , but weighs 14.5 kg, but the doctor assured there is no serious trouble as the dog is happy-looking and had a great appetite. Some dogs have rash and allergy but is good enough with cream. One had a serious diarrhoea but is immediately put away from the surgery room because it keeps excreting in the room.

A golden retriever puppy, named Mocca, with two Chinese sisters as owners, is a little sick since birth but had a vaccination today. The puppy is extremely cute, with a very healthy golden fur. 

And a cat which is like a replica of Garfield but not really that fat, soft fur and very tamed, so I like her as well. There are also dogs who drip-feed.

Today is a very busy day, patients come and and patients goes. The people there are amused as I am only in secondary school, they thought I am now in college. And I guess they can see that I am really happy in there because opportunities like labor trouble are rare. Dr Matthew said that I am a very lucky girl. I also believe I have beginner's luck.

As for the people there, they are SUPER friendly. I really like them. All of them are black skin, I don't know if all of them are Indians, for some seemed to be from Pakistan, only April is yellowed-skin, a Chinese, but doesn't really know Chinese Language.They gave me a lot of learning opportunities. 

Ali, a young man who keeps calling me by spelling out my name "H-E-I-M-A-N", keeps making jokes and is the man I most interacted with today. He asks me why am I interested in this career. I am actually not sure myself, all I thought was the same as treating a human being, but I find this excuse funny, so I ask him: Why do you choose to be a vet? He laughs and only told me he was not interested in animals but he did not tell me his real motive to be a vet. He makes really funny jokes, I think he is from Pakistan, by hearing their conversation. He does not know Tamil (a little), so he actually one to be those international speakers, like English, Malay, Tamil, Chinese. He learns a little Tamil from his colleagues. Then he offers to teach me a little Tamil and me to teach him simple Chinese in return. 

Atif is also another young doctor, I find his suture skill not as mature as Dr. Matthew. And then he will keeps on saying: One day, I will be a great doctor. That's why I like him, his eagerness to learn. I find him to be a very gentle man.

April is a mum, with a 18 year old daughter studying in pastry art. She has 2 dogs, experienced for many years in this clinic, though I find her more in the reception counter than in surgery room. She took very great care of me and asked me to not touch a virus infected dog (serious case) so I wouldn't be infected and has to use chlorox to clean myself.

The others, I shall call them as nurses, in my memories there are 4 of them. One has an experience of 15 years in this clinic and is a teacher to Atif. We do simple chats and I help them when not in surgery, such as cleaning and counting pills. They have this really sensei vibe, like how they tamed the dogs. Quite strict. For example if a dog keeps barking aggressively, they will yell at the dog, one case I have seen is that he did a 'hand slap gesture' and then the dog will immediately dodge and quiet down, then he will comfort the dog with a pat and some touch, and then examine the dog to see if his wounds are okay and such. 

The condition of the clinic is clean but a little messy, everything is in order, a little cramp but okay to me, and it reeks of dog, but I find it tolerable and it's essential to being a vet. The surgery station is cleaned every time, as well as the floor is mopped and disinfect. We are asked to wear masks and rubber gloves. 

Today is a very reproductive day. I am looking forward to tomorrow.

:)

减肥减肥减肥

今天写帖子就只有一个目的！

我要瘦下来！！！！！！

现在什么都是加4

体重加4公斤

大腿加4英尺

不可以不可以不可以！！！！

增加了4，我就要减少5！！

减肥正式ON！

祝我成功！

害怕

我真的应该好好检讨了。很不喜欢争论这些无谓的乱七八糟事物。

为了下载一个文件也争。

为了一个不亏损的理由也争。

为了证明自己的对和别人的错也争。

为了打一个赌也争。

为了证明自己不蠢也争。

为了修理一台电脑也争。

什么都要争。

对这个世界有种莫名的悲哀，但又不想那么轻易放弃。

一家人开开心心不就好吗？

从一个电脑不能放CD，到开启另一个电脑，到开启一个email，到列印一个文件，到下载一个文件，到电脑的开启，到电脑维修，到学习，到无穷无尽，争论个没完没了。

然后我就会开始埋怨，提出一系列的如果：

如果电脑能放CD，就不会那么多争论。

如果电脑可以开启到快一点，就不会有那么多东西争。

如果我心平气和地和爸爸解释，就不会闹。

如果我知道yahoo mail的下载文件按钮在下面，我就不会被我爸说我蠢，也就不会那么争。

如果我不无理取闹，明明争来争取也睁不出个所以然，就不会那么吃讨苦吃。

所以我现在很懊恼。

我就是不喜欢我爸爸说我蠢。

太伤心了。

真希望明天可以好好的跟他说清楚。

他是否明白说自己的女儿很蠢真的是伤了我。

而我可能真的很蠢，连聪明点都不行。

真的好伤心。

原来这一切的开始就是因为我蠢，我笨。

如果我爸爸有好好想，他是否也会意识到他伤了我呢？

我爸爸说我蠢，所以我就不高兴，然后顶嘴回他说如果我蠢为什么还要帮他处理这些文件。

这些事情明明可以好好说，但是就是要说我笨我不会思考。

然后这些的这些我又不知道要和谁说。

我真的好讨厌。

我整天在家里都笑嘻嘻的，连撞倒了惨叫一声后就会大笑。

如今我也可以如此伤心，是否因为我把伤心和痛的事都累积太久了？

然后我就只会死命怪别人。

明天早上我需要跟他说这一切发生的原因吗？

我真的好害怕。

Helpless

I feel so helpless right now.

Probably because I did nothing worth while during the first week of my holiday.

And then it began to be so frustrating now because there is typically nobody who cares for others at the moment and I feel so alone.

I am really not getting an A in isolation but I really need to work this out. At least a B+, at least I need to have the tolerance to be alone.

What is going wrong with me? I have been so alone for all these time, and I am now whining that I can't even stand being isolated in my comfy room for more than a week!?

People who think they are so smart and putting up crap should be those I am avoiding right now. I mean, how can one girl with a looking-nice piece of comment about me makes me feel so dumb and so vulnerable? Here I am making stupid accusation of myself! Did I do something wrong to you? Why do you have to put up negative things about me? Is that what I am suppose to do? Try to look up to you? You did the same wrong as I did, and nobody put out a shaky finger in your lovely face! And here you are trying to say irrevalent things about me!? Please, I am more comfortable than that guy who wrote even less. Thanks you for your comment, and I am going to take it, treat it as a challenge, and you better suck it up! 

I really need a job so much so I can meet more people outside than these stupid people on the internet with their backstabbing faces.

Randomness

我只觉得说再这样半写半掉的方式实在是无法让我完成一个完整的帖子。-.-

我发现到日本真的是一个好地方。

是不是只要接触到日本的东西就会一只这样说？呵呵....

今天的假期作业又有进步了，至少我审题了哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈我很坏！

今天我看了《境界的彼方》，是一部超好看的动漫！！要看还是经过了一番的折腾啊，pps又不行，风行又不行，最后用youtube都高清了好多倍呢！哼～

《境界的彼方》是很好看，就是喜欢这种校园青春故事集，有种很散漫又刺激的感觉，是我渴望的玫瑰色高中生活！

我还记得那时候我去东京迪士尼乐园虽然是上课日但是当地的学生都穿着校服在乐园里玩乐，然后上班族们都会在午休时去盛开樱花的公园里一起吃便当，是我向往的，充满写意的生活！呵呵.....

其实我现在真的很睏了，只是我发现每天都是写了一大半然后这样储存然后又忘记的持续性写法实在是让我过意不去。唉～而且我发现日本人是吐槽能力的最高境界者噢！吐槽世界向你致敬！

晚上时感触特别深。

我说过我以前都不曾把回忆当成一回事。这是因为孤独的我无法把回忆分享因此选择忘记。其实我不想一个人。只是世界上人太多了。人人都结伴。我认识的这位女孩，已经和孤独结伴了。我以前是一个人过的，现在也是，以后都会是。我认为自己已经十分的幸运，因为虽然我没有煲电话粥的习惯和福气，但至少我有方便联络他人的智能手机 。说到这个女孩，我很喜欢她的蜕变。是个很不真实但又是活生生的例子。但是她的蜕变让她变成只高傲的天鹅，所以我自身对她没什么好感，只是因为她对一些人的苛刻，感情用事也让我看不下。

也有些女孩，隐藏住自己的另一面。

我喜欢这样的人，让我发现一个人如万花筒般，多变但又不失美丽。是敬佩她们吧！

怎么会谈起别人了。不好意思我不对了....

其实这个帖子本身就没有什么重点，只是我找不回以前那个下笔自如的感觉，总觉得是伤心事少了很多。哈哈哈哈.....