Le Crush

I think it's been a long while since I have a crush. I mean, normal girls do have a crush.
He is Benedict Cumberbatch, and I love him very much!!!!

OMG had to put X-large because he is so damn hot!!!!
I think it's been 3?2? years since I knew him. The first appearance is in CNY, when I am in Hong Kong, I think it's the time when someone broke my heart, so it's 2 years back. I was watching TV and this series named "Sherlock" attracted me, and then I am just so mesmerized by this Sherlock Holmes!  I suppose that is what makes him famous now. I watched episode 1 in HK, and at that time I still don't know about PPS and FENGXING,so until it was at the end of the year I started watching the whole series. I am so in love with the personality he puts in his character. Although I don't know if that was also him in real life. The character (Sherlock Holmes) is cool, charming, has this god-kill-me accent, and extremely....... handsome. Also very smart ( Well it's Sherlock afterall) and talks very fast. I cannot describe it, just go and watch "Sherlock"! Ah and there is about to have a new season soon, it's Season 3 now. And also, it's a bit different from the classic novels, it's just a bit.... modernized. And the twist and turns, the jokes and the charming woman. To me, it's really good. Wonderful. Perfect.

The second time I saw him is on Channel 555, History Channel. AHA bet you never see that coming! It's a biography about Stephen Hawking. To be honest, I didn't finish the whole film because it's too boring. But the man himself is again.... HAWT!!! Okay la exaggerating a bit. I am trying not to exaggerate too much because I really want to express my true feelings and mind. I think everything true will just be covered when using hyperbola. In this film he speaks slowly and gives the impression of a humble man. And of course there is the scene when he had this disorder/sickness, sorry I don't know, and to be honest, he is an amazing actor. The pain, the happiness, and when he dreams is just so real. I think I am blushing while typing this, and my face is so hot and red, particularly because I am wearing long sleeves.

And the 3rd one, is when TODAY, I went to One Utama with my family and went to watch this movie named "Star Trek into Darkness". Okay, the reason why I choose this movie is not because of Benedict. It's just that there is no more other good choices. So we finally picked this. And the big picture is only a man in the middle, with his back facing us and standing in a pile of debris.

I think the man in the middle is Benedict.
Okay, and when the movie started with the running men, chased by something, and then bla bla bla, only did I know this is STAR TREK. Like, the special exhibition in Science Negara or whatnot, correct me if I am wrong. And the Star Trek films for the past few years. Bravo! SALUTE to you!!
And then, there is this man crying because his daughter is dying and a man's voice appear:"I can help you." And when his face appear, I almost shrieked and jumped out of my seat, and the popcorn almost spilling."Is that SHERLOCK HOLMES??" I sat bolt right up, my mind racing. "No, what's his real name again? Cumberbatch. Yeah, Cumberbatch. No,no his first name.... Henry?" and watch the entire film so mesmerized. And later I Googled it. Sorry Benedict Cumberbatch. His name is so sopisticated. And every time Benedict appears on screen, I will be like:
"Wow he is so handsome..."
"I like his accent."
"I didn't know his teeth are quite uneven, handsome level: 9999"
"Aww he is crying....*sniff* Dun cry..."
"His mouth is so big...handsome level: 10000
"Quickly RUN RUN RUN RUN"
"Fighting!!!!!"
"oh well serves you right."
"Goodnight, Goodbye."
The thing is, he is the villain in the movie, so the last comment make sense.

And when the movie ended, I am like, oh god the movie is so good!!!!!! And I yapped for so long in front of my family, saying how good the movie is.

And my dad says he has watched Star Trek since young.
And my mum said she doesn't understand the movie.
And my brother's hair is in a mess because he slept during the movie.
And my mum asked me:" Where is the spaceship from?"

So I shall recommend you guys to watch this movie. It's amazing!
Benedict Cumberbatch is my celebrity crush. I love him.
Oh and also, they had cut off the part when the girl was in the underwear scene. I found that out when I was wondering why the scene suddenly changed and I googled to my not surprisingly, found out that I didn't get to see the underwear part.

Stories

I love stories. Because there are like a bazillion times when I hoped that I could live a life in any of the stories I have read or heard. For example, I once hoped to be the girl lead in a love story. Like Amy in the 39 clues, plunged in family history of madness. Or I once hoped to meet Lucy in Dirty Little Secrets, when she live in her mother's horror and then burned her house down. Like the girls in a Korean Drama. Or like anybody in "the perks" so I could go high and drink (bad girl).

But then I suppose, if I were to write a book about myself. A story about myself. It would be plain like the diagram of zero heartbeat. A straight line. Plain. Boring. Shy. No climax and no cliffhanger. No coincidence. No luck. Yet.

It's now so rainy and so sad. So sad I even hoped to be the wind now, outside my house, behind my window, blow, make sounds. Sing. Roar. Scream. Dance.

And then I laughed. Because how can a girl fell in love with a geek, a nerd. And then surprisingly that nerd was the one who can helped her and her family through technologies disaster, even though she was in one of the most powerful family in the world. (The 39 Clues)

I am now so obsessed with The 39 Clues. My storytelling sucked. That's why I failed miserably in NIE. Stories popped out in a short time and in an unexpected way. Or when I panicked, like when I can write a story until midnight because the deadline is tomorrow.

Now I hoped to be the thunder. So everybody can listen to me. Selfish, no? It's raining so heavily outside.

040513

I think that people are destined to do something.

I know this might sound brag or crazy and dumb because my results sucked like shit. A commercial art student says :" I think economy classes are pulling down your grades." And an economy student is then destined to fight back by proving it wrong. So, pull yourselves together, economy friends!

There are times my parents said I should retreat from science because I seem to have a hard time. But no. I just feel so honoured when learning science. I think it's really for me, but my grades doesn't appeal *that* much. I remembered when my first day as a junior, and yes I sucked too so badly during my first exam, because I am totally bewildered and dumb in this total mark and stuff. And then the next exam and until my 3rd year, I have been to top 10 and kept improving. So now as a senior, and halfway to my first year, I think I am about to improve to a higher level. It's like lesson learned. I learned by sucking bad at first. Partly because I still don't know how this senior stuff works out and partly the system changed a little, the syllabus went a whooping high and difficult.

It's really a half year now. So I must really pull myself together.

The point

It's been so long since I've updated. We finished our exams yesterday, and before that I have resisted updating "something" during the exams because it's the exams.

Today is not a productive day. Just hanging around in Setia and then Jusco. My family first agreed to watch the movie "Oblivion" but then there's a looong queue and the fastest short-cut to buying a ticket is through the Citibank channel. But then their machine broke, so..... cancelled. :/

Yesterday night is fun. I ate steamboat with my previous classmates and celebrated someone's birthday. "Someone" is because it was the first time we met yesterday. I am so bad in making friends. We have to be in an awkward state for like 5 minutes while others are choosing their food, and then finally shook hands, introducing ourselves. I think I did well! Haha....

At 9:30, Dishenlovestaylor and me are the only person left, and we chatted about music, it's been really so long like we have ever talked about music. I really wanted to share Birdy's song. And Lana's too!! And we talked about our classes, most of me talking about how much pressure there is and everyone is so......... unpredictable. Not in a bad way, honest. I love my class, I love everyone. It is just so different from my junior years. The geniuses are endless, and I am really amused. Honest. I even get to feel good about the most boastful person on the planet I am in. I have a small perspective. I am not mature enough to really see the world. So shall I wait patiently.

I bought two books today. It's rare of me to introduce books. "The perks of being a wallflower" and "The fault in our stars", the exactly same book Dishen bought yesterday. And my mum asked me:" Did you really finished reading all those books you bought?" I lied. For some reason, I really don't like borrowing books, whether it's from friends or library. Because I like making my own library. The Perks is an awesome book. It's a different genre to me. I have never really see so much flow in one whole page. The book exceeds in 'changing the subject' and not letting the reader know about it. Excellent book.

Besides books, I gave up on 甄嬛传, because it frustrates me that I cannot watch after episode 10. I don't know why. So I moved forward to 最佳李纯信. Good!

There is a scary truth. I don't LINE, whatsapp, WeChat. And I don't send messages like my friends around me chatting through their devices. There was time when someone tell me to LINE her, and I told her that I don't know how to LINE. And she said, "Seriously? Are you kidding me?" I was dumbfounded, then why am I downloading these apps? For the cute graphics, and emergencies. So I am learning in whatsapp, as for LINE and WeChat, temporarily in garbage.

Am I going to the point? Yeah, I am. The point is, after so much of struggle, I told two of my tuition teachers I won't be attending their classes anymore. And both of them send "ok" to me. What a relief!! And then  I proceeded to whatsapp (see? I am really working hard!) a dance teacher. There are times when I don't know what I am capable of. For example, I gave up the piano because of a tiny "disorder". And when I went back to Hong Kong and told this to my beloved cousin, she said "Oh really? And Beethoven is deaf." Supposedly I kept quiet and reconsidered my decision. I still stopped.
I suppose that there are quite a lot of instruments I can't play well with my unknown disorder. But there is always a way, right? After all, Beethoven is deaf. I will be asking a friend if I can play the guitar with one short of articulatio. You can say I am indecisive, but I say this as searching for my talents, which requires money. And it is ONLY at this time, I hate money.