Kids

Ps this post was written last Sunday. And left in my draft.

 After days of reconsideration, I hereby conclude that I don't like kids.

This triggered me when my cousin Zoe (why is it always her?) told me a shocking news (to me) that she don't like children. I was shocked because she seems so nice and so gentle to everybody around her. She told me that she cannot stand one of our little cousins, because she is very "annoying" and "loud". 

I am very stupid when around kids. I feel like a monster when being with them. Maybe is the expression or the very strict face. Like I don't really find some sort of friendly sister in me when being around with the children. My friend Jer Vain must be an expert when dealing with younger children, because everybody loves playing with her, lol the bubbly side of her hahahaha. I think she like kids, and as what I saw, they laughing with her and playing etc.

When I was 12 and being in a daycare with a bunch of kids with different ages, it occurred to me that I am the oldest. And I am suppose to be a "role model" or a "companion" besides teachers. I suppose 3 of my best friends there did a really good job entertaining them, while all I do is just being awkward and dumb. Well these just prove that I am not good around children, what about don't liking them?

Today my family and I went to watch the movie Cinderella. And because it's a Disney movie, there is more children then I expected. Now is the damn true story, a shitty (sorry.) kid behind me keep screaming. Like hell, this is a cinema, people are watching a movie. TOGETHER. This is not your private theatre. Of course children don't understand shit. But the mom.... I'm not blaming her, because she told that kid to be quiet. But then the fucking ( I am really angry.) kid keep screaming and yapping thoughout the whole movie. And I can hear him or her running around the corridor. I shushed a few times, and it didn't work. 

AND a another kid sitting Infront of me keep standing up! Wearing his hoodie and bouncing up and down, blocking my view. And his father must be also annoyed and he told him to sit properly. But the kid didn't listen, obviously.

After the movie, we went to Setia City Mall for a walk. And we had a tea break at Hui Lau Shan. While we are waiting, I noticed that two kids are playing around at the sort of "space". A restaurant  beside us and I saw the kids' family sitting at a table chatting. One sentence. Fuck the damn kids. These two were so noisy, like running around with their masks and toy guns. Screaming and yelling. Pushing each other and chasing around. I kept quiet until suddenly.

Fuck the kid who just wham into the decorative fence of Hui Lao Shan. The worker there just quietly straightened the fence. And I had fucking enough. I was supposed to just glared into the kids eyes. But instead I glared into a woman's . I must be really annoyed, because the woman immediately avoid eye contact with me, and tell her kid to come back here. And the second time I looked back. The whole table is empty. 

I must be pretty angry. And then after eating we went for a stroll. And then I saw a kid fell down, his father a few feet away. And then the father kneel down, and smile at the kid and encourage him to stand up and move forward. The kid smiled looking at his laughing dad, and try to get up by his own. Well that probably made the anger go away. Hahahha

But I still don't like kids.

The happy and the not happy

Eventually I was in a really happy mood.

Because I am going back to the vet clinic.

I usually try to be professional in English, because I wanted to keep up with my standard. But today, I will be using Malaysian English, not much, just a bit few rude words here and there. Cope with it. 

In the morning my father and brother had left, and it was only my mother and I at home. My mother preparing herself for work, and me, same. And then while I was wearing my shoes, Jee Wei called me and asked me to go to her house. Because she say there was a cat crying in front of her house. By crying, probably just meowing rapidly and loudly. They say they couldn't identify whether she was just hungry, lost, or pregnant and is going to deliver.

At the lift to going to Jee Wei's floor, my mom said that just because a cat meow, and the neighbor finds me, which is a good thing. Like now the whole world knows that I want to be a vet. I must be so crazy about it somehow. 

I reached her door but saw no cat. So I asked where is it? They say it just ran away. Ran away where? And through a long corridor, I heard the meowing. A tiny little shadow standing on four legs. Jee Wei and her mom warned me that it maybe fierce or something, because of the constant meowing. Like she was angry or in pain. And that cat turned it's head and saw me.

And she sprang towards me. Like a jet plane.

Let's just say the corridor is about 60-70 m. The cat and I are at both ends. I approached it, which means we probably had a distance of 50 m. The moment it caught my eyes, the eyes lightened up, not sure if it saw a prey or a savior. But at that very moment, when it had that velocity which has the potential of jumping out of the balcony, I thought I could die. The very first thought that came in my mind is: 

A Tiger.

..............

Damn, thanks for giving such a fright, cat.

I'm alive. The cat just wanted a hug. That's all. Okay come and caress your body over my legs, meowing affectionately and wanting a head pat. 

It's fur is so silky white, and with big spots. And a bushy tail. Definitely not a stray cat. Somebody must have owned this cat. Maybe it meowed because it couldn't find it's home? Maybe it was lost and hungry? Whatever it is, we decided to buy cat food for her downstairs. And so, we led her inside the lift. Hahahahaha, a cat walking inside a lift and then sits down. 

The elevator stops, the doors open, and a man stands in front of the doors. The cat ran out. Shit. The man jumped. And I had to get out and lift the fat cat inside.

The store didn't open. In the end, we bought a tuna bread. Which is useless. This is one picky cat. My mother and I are late for work, so in the end I just placed her onto the floor. And off she goes running into the bushes. 

This is the happy part.

Now is the sohai part.

At the clinic, some uncle who is a friend of boss came to the clinic. And we talked, and I blurted out that I want to study in Melbourne, the uncle asked me of course. Because I am quite silent there, because I hated trouble and cannot even bother to deal with those complicated people there. So now, everybody knows I want to study in Australia. Thanks to the uncle who is a friend of boss, but no thanks.

Lunch time, everybody went out except me and Atif at the receptionist desk, he sitting, I was standing at the magazine stand, reading the magazines. And Atif asked, when are you going to Australia? And I wanted to just make up some shit excuse and change the subject. But I can't think of any. So I replied, IF I can go to Australia, next year March. Sohai man asked again, Will you contact me? 

Maybe. 

Maybe I am a coward, like I should have say no. No. No. No. No. Never. Fuck you. But then I say "Maybe". Because I don't want to provoke him. Because I AM a coward. And then he reacted, I don't think so. Because you never even contact me in Malaysia, like you don't even reply my messages.

For a second I was probably stunned. I wanted to reply but I can't. And I just stand there and turned around, facing him.

And I smiled. I fucking smiled, like the most evilest smile I can ever give. Like the "I don't give a fuck" smile. I sort of felt my heart beating very crazy fast. And my hairs standing. And I smiled at him, to his fucking disgusting face. And he turned his head away, staring down. And I turned away as well, back to the magazine and put it back. 

I said nothing of course, but at that moment, I think that silence is the best payback than any other words. Maybe I really can pull it through by being silence.

One, Atif, you are being so fucking pathetic. No, I don't wanna share photos with you. And no, I don't want to even chat with you. Okay? You can heal animals, whatever, but are you really being responsible for your actions? How you behave in front of boss and how you behave when boss is not around, we all see it with our own eyes. 

Two, you have a wife. You shit, you have a wife. So don't harass me. I cope with you because I hated causing trouble. Stay away far far far from me.

I still have a lot of Saturdays to spend in the clinic. So bless me.