Today

It's been a long time since I blogged, and I'm doing it now because I wanna play the computer more, but not sure what to play; also I'm waiting for my Desperate Housewives to load.

Just a few things about my volunteering, I definitely need to be aware. I had made countless mistakes and I'm feeling very bad and very sorry about my carelessness. Especially my communication skills are so mediocre that I suck much at talking on telephones. I need to be really careful as these all counts to my future. Not only I need to get feedback but I'm sure in the future I have to do more of these.

Listening and speaking is really important, it's just like an IELTS test. Most of the times I couldn't give good response and it leads to big misunderstandings. Second is that I can't pick out words the other side is saying, so I have to be really really really careful and aware and sensitive. I have to be slow and steady, just like driving a car.

Okay, I suppose that is my remorse and sorry.
I still have to learn a lot more from other people. To be polite, to be kind, and to be brave.

Graduation and after

Graduation day, nothing much unless I have really strong bonds with everyone. I was quite surprise that I didn't cry and partly of me know why, because I cannot feel the sadness. And that's it. Graduation day, passed. Now that I thought about it, my mum brought me a gift, and it's very lovely. I usually don't get surprises because I'm too of a noobie. And I knew surprises too well. Sometimes people just don't hide their surprises too carefully, like my mum who took out the receipt of the gift she bought the day before graduation. Which is why I knew, but tried not to expect too much, and well, it turned out good. As for flower, my mum actually asked me if she should buy me one, and I told her no, cause it's just a waste of money and the flowers die. When Chiam got a fake flower from his society he was like fake flowers means fake feeling. But I think fake flowers can be kept forever. I sort of prefer fake flowers than real. You know what is the best, handmade paper or tissue flowers, which are beautiful, there is love in making it, and durability in keeping it. And not to mention, I have to say the biggest surprise is that tiramisu cake Jervain made for me.

And then is prom. Pictures says a lot more. No special feelings.

Yesterday is my first day to volunteer, what a great way to finally start the holidays!! The place is just wonderful and I love being busy and not lazing in house anymore. I hope to continue being so.

I seemed to forget my everyday grateful prayers, which is bad.

And I got an eye infection the first day of my work, after applying drops of neo deca and eye wash, it finally got better today. I think its a warning for me wearing makeup or straining my eyes few days in a row. And to be grateful that I still have my vision.Because of the eye infection, I am very sure my vision is greatly affected hence I need to do some checkups ASAP.

Short post today because I'm going now!

Holiday week

(Written yesterday - 4th November 2015)

I must say that my holiday life is always bland compare to others. It's not that I don't like having fun and prefer lazing in my house sofa, or watching dramas and movies. But it's that I don't have the resources into having a fun holiday. Or so I thought?

Every time I think of going out, I will always remember the memory that I have, of sitting in a subway in Hong Kong, and going to the Andy Warhol exhibition at the Art Museum located in Tsim Sha Tsui. It reminded me of the joy of being alone and it's serenity. Too bad, compared to being a big country, Malaysia doesn't seem to have much options when it comes to serenity and peacefulness. 

Well, I'm still here. And I figure it out that if I don't have the serenity I want outside, why don't I just enjoy the loneliness at home? Which is boring, relatively, but I'm sure I will work something out. For example, I finally got the volunteer job I yearn for so long (non-ending thinking about it for 3 days straight). This has eventually cut my home alone time short because I'm going out and I hope it to be busy and very busy. 

The next is that I'm trying to learn a new language. Korean to be precise. And it's going to be self taught. I had this idea when I was a few years younger, when the k-pop/ drama craze went to the roof. Not me having k-craze, but the people around me. Those reality shows, Running Man, dramas, SNSD and such, it's pretty much the topic of everyone. And a lot of people learned Korean because of that. Well, I won't deny that k-craze has finally gotten into me, I listened to IU and Taeyeon, I love the reality show The return of Superman, and I just thought that it would be really amazing if I can understand what IU is singing and the interaction between dads and kids. I actually thought I can learn Japanese first because I love Japan, and I want to understand their language and when I go to Japan later I can communicate, and meet new friends. But Korean got to me first. So I got to my first lesson in learning Hangul, their vowels and consonants. So after learning how to read their letters, I guess I will start to learn some grammar and sentence structure. And the next will be basic vocabulary and hopefully I will start to read IU's lyrics. The Internet is a miracle, you can have everything you asked for. I also found some hacks on dealing with Kuwo's recent actions to charge some music due to copyright issues. I know downloading music is illegal but to make so many things work depending on money is very... disturbing. Well since IU's new album has charges, I used that hack (it's simple, everyone knows it except me) and I got IU's songs and it has bilingual lyrics, Korean and Chinese, that definitely helps a lot. 

Also, there is the workout. Yay I finally got to my first workout. It's only been two days but I'm quite proud of myself. It's just 7 minutes but I really sweat a lot. And I finally get the feeling of being pleasantly sweaty that Jer Vain always told me about. Not to mention aside from the 7-minute workout I tend to do 30 minutes of cardio every morning (the stepping machine). I read that in the morning our blood sugar level is very low, and by doing cardio in the morning, our bodies tend to use the sugar stored in our fat as there is no sugar to be used in our blood. Okay, the fun of science. So it's been two days, and after my first workout, my muscles really feel sore and again I get to feel that pleasure my friend is so happy about. Oh yes, and I am very grateful that my period came at the beginning of the month so there is no excuse of skipping exercise because of my period. (Eureka!) I had my period at the 30th of October, and I really felt happy about it. Oh. Except the fact that I will be having my period during my class trip. (Dang it, I just thought of that in a sudden.) I suppose I will.... try to have fun.

(Continued today - 5th November 2015)

I sort of regretted that I stopped writing yesterday because eventually I forgot everything I wanted to write yesterday, now I just have to finish writing whatever happened yesterday and today. And also some of my feelings and conclusions.

So let me talk about this volunteer work I got. About this incident, I really want to thank Mike for encouraging me when I feel skeptical and anxious whether the clinic is going to accept my volunteer. I found him as a really good friend of mine now, as he helped me a lot, which includes during my exams he helped me with math and physics. After my exams, he helped me check my answers and console me if I don't feel good or doubtful about my results. He told me about The Law of Attraction, which I now truly truly believe, thanks to him. He told me not to stop believing that I will get the volunteer job in the clinic. He also advice me to stop swearing as this would make my first impression to people bad, and I have found myself more controlling of my language use and manners, of course except the fact that I pointed a middle finger to my best friend today.... err that's bad. He also encourage me to talk to Junren more, as he said that this is my last year, and I should befriend him again. So after a lot of discussion with him, I decided to write a letter and send to JR tomorrow (Cleaning Day). Wish me luck, fingers crossed.

Back to the volunteering, no one can believe how skeptical I have been during the past 3 days. When Mike told me about the Secret, that night I found my book and read again. And every night, I do those three things, Ask, Believe and Accept. During Wednesday, I called the clinic three times with no result, and that's when I found out that the clinic does not open at Wednesdays. So I decided to call on Thursday. Since the next day is my society farewell party, I wanted to bake cookies and called my mum to pick me to the closest bakery suppliers to buy the ingredient. When I was waiting at the lift, I had the urge to call the clinic again, but this time the number is a hand phone number written on their card. So I proceeded to call and to my excitement, the doctor himself answered the call. The doctor told me that they had lost my phone number and couldn't contact me and he said that I am allow to work. Sorry for the boring bits of details but at that point, I was really happy and laughed out loud on the street, which is embarrassing...

That is when I started to feel grateful to everything good thing that has happened to me. I should be grateful, and just happy about everything and being positive. For example that one time Mike told me that the road around my house is very difficult to drive. And I told him that it doesn't matter, because if I can master that difficult road around my house, it means that I can drive any road as well. Just a small normal story but it means a lot of change on me.

And I made cookies!!! Which is a good thing, as I finally got some "hobby" to begin with. Hope that baking can really be a lifelong skill.

That is the end of yesterday. Now today.

Today I went to school early, for the dissection for the frog. I think I will put this story later, it was nothing special, just the good thing is that the teacher complimented me and Priscilla for doing a good job in dissecting it, although we sort of destroyed the kidneys.

And my friends also said that my level of carefulness is high, okay I know that they could just be talking fun but to be honest, I am proud of myself being serious and careful when cleaning the bones. I hope that this inner merit of me can take me far on my journey to becoming a veterinarian.

And the next is the farewell party, not bad, everything went well. Very surprised with the huge amount of gifts. And they even ate finish all of my cookies!!! I'm very much pleased.

Just to say that these few days have really opened up my mind and made me a better person than yesterday. Also to just encourage myself, I even did my workout after reaching home eating a lot and it was already 7 pm and tired. Kudos for the 7 minutes. I hope to continue improving myself.