Fuck my life.

Today is nothing but a mere shitty story, no thoughts no ideas, just another shitty day.

Today is Crazy Sports Day, and I have no clue what "sports" they are playing but I'm sure it's going to be fun. This morning, our hall people are rehearsing our chant on the field, and I have to say it's really cool and full of heat! And after our hall chant, all of them just got ready to leave to the arena.

Except me.

And a couple of others.

Why am I not going?

Because I have to study. Let's just clarify, that the only reason I ever got here, is to pass the pre-vet elimination and get into my dream course. But who doesn't love some team spirit and this is like one of those chance to get along with everybody else. And I blew it away. I blew fucking everything away.

And I'm desperate, I'm even considering going counselling.

I was there, on the field, learning the chant and the moves, getting into the mood and hype. I don't know if the crazy sport is compulsory, but the RAs knocked on everybody's door and asked them out. But I didn't saw some of my friends, they were not there. And I'm beyond scared, cause I have no one I know were there. So I called them, and some were in the library, some in their rooms. And I asked them to come down and join, maybe go to the crazy sports.

And they said no. Because they want to study. Because it's the semester test next week.

And I know, that I shouldn't be going. Because I need to study as well. Am I behind? Yes damn fucking shit I'm fucking behind every shit. I don't wanna be behind. Even if I'm not behind, I'm gonna overtake all those shit people.

I need to go in. I'm not gonna waste another year of time and money to retake the course. I'm not.

So it's shit. It's a shit day.

So I decided, that now, if I'm gonna give up all of my social life and new friends, I better study fucking hard and get into this fucking course. Fucking course the only thing I hated about it is that it just took away all of my life. Fucking shit people asked you to relax and have a fun uni, no, don't fucking relax, because people are going to overtake you and you are going to lose.

If you are gonna win this battle, you better be well prepared to lose it all.

Fuck my life.