I went to Dr Thomas's clinic today. All was good, when April then whispered to me -whispered because she doesn't want Atif to know- "the other doctor from last time" came to the clinic and asked boss for a job.
"Which other doctor?" I asked, somehow confused, but deep down I know and trying to run away from the truth. April then mouthed "Ali". She was then upset because Atif was just beside us, although he can't hear us, but April was upset because she " don't wanna let Atif know" (there was some bad history between them then).
Anyway, I had to pretend a look, like somehow surprised. But when I closed my mouth and my mind started processing, I can feel the clutch, that feeling that a hand is going to crush my heart to pieces and blood.
What should I do? He is coming back? Should I face him? Should I run away? It's been one year he's gone, and now he is coming back.
April also said that boss rejected him, saying that they don't need anyone at the moment. Which makes me relieved for some time. But then I found out that he had came twice to the clinic and called once, changing his number and all. Does he still remember my number? He can call the clinic. So until today, I've been so skeptical on unknown numbers, cause I'm afraid that when I hear his voice once again, I might break down. Bad.
It's going to be exam season soon. So after one more week I might quit. So I might be safe for some time. The whole day I was looking at the door, scared that he might show up, and I still got a chance to run away.
The other me wants to talk to him, and asked if we can "negotiate". That's if I met him. But you all know me, I'm a coward of some sort. It's not possible.
Of course I am afraid, but I have to keep my cool.
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