Dishonest feelings.

I resisted so much, trying to figure what the hell is wrong, and then try not to blog. But here it is now. I am sorry.

Did he actually said that he TRIED to like me? Damn you. Is this suppose to say that I force you to like me? Ask yourself, did you even give me a proper answer? Yes is yes and no is no, and to think that when I first asked you, you said the former answer. And THEN it changed to nothing. You said about your own feelings about this relationship and then it was suppose to be a rejection. I know better that I had just got rejected that night. It was cool afterwards, with ONLY ME stubborn to wield it tighter. And then what happened? Did I even ACTUALLY get a "no"? No, I don't think so. I think that saying something like, 'I will not like you reluctantly any more''我不会勉强再喜欢你', this is like world's-big-joke. You said it yourself that we haven't sort it out and it turned out disastrous. But then you were reluctant to like me? Are you just as dishonest to your own feelings as to me? Why are you forcing yourself to even have feelings in me when actually have zero? Why cannot you just say it straight? And even if you did not say it straight, you should not have said that you will never like me reluctantly any more, which is saying that you have felt reluctant to like me before, and that makes me the culprit for stopping you to find the one you actually like. You are said to be smart and I admired you for that but now I just felt like I just fell for the worst guy ever. So yes I am angry. I dunno is this some sort of grammar mistake or wrong choice of vocabulary, but I even have to check the dictionary to see if my chinese was that bad to understand the meaning of “勉强”.

If I was wrong about you then I am terribly sorry, and I sincerely apologized to you, Teh Chi En.
Other than that, I am just as obsessive and will not want to have any messages about this from you.
And yes I am somewhat a coward to not ask it straight at your face, and I am sorry, please forgive me.