Snapped memories

I feared that for my pen-drive to be in such a broken mess isn't an accident. Maybe it was destined to be broken. Yeah maybe the real reason for it to be dissected in this poor, horrid condition is because of cheap material (Blame it on the product!!) and lame owner.
So after a literal amount of wailing and pleading my mom to take this baby to his "hospital", and without a second of CPR, the doctor declared the being dead. And it horrifies me, without any strength I put down the phone and shed a few tears. My mom consoled me and ask for my next decisions, and we decided in agreement that I shall bury this 3 year-old kid in my memorabilia box. Oh, and a new one too. I look at it for a few minutes, thinking what's on it's mind, put it inside a small pouch.

And I proceeded to eat my Chicken Rice.
Also thinking what information should I poured into my newest possessions.

About it's destiny, truly there had been utmost wonderful memories in it. Including my hard works that finally paid off. My determination, my choices. Works that were thrown aside, plans that are yet to begin. And also, my love story.

So it's gone. Zip. Nada. Zilch.

And everything has to start over. Including my newest files in biography, chemistry, physics. My astronomy research of parallel universe, if it isn't for a big-ly huge mistake that I have to redo it. My powerpoint of BM drama ( Fortunately, it has been saved by my blessed teacher.). My HTML files, my blog skins..... etc etc etc..... gone.

It's truly sad that all of my conversations between him and I are gone, and that was the main reason why  I pleaded so much and shed a tear or two. His music, his literatures and crazy stuffs I-don't-really-remember-because-I-seldom-look-into-the-folder-any-more (approximately 1 year). And I am happy, is glad, because there is nothing more to hide, nothing more to resent, as it will never ever ever ever be recovered. It's like death, nothing more to be shown, secrets go with you and only you.

And rejoice, I get to get a new one!!! Must be prettier than before de. hahahahahah.... xD
Yes truly I also dunno why I will choose a fugly brown one, when I can have pink. -.- Mind-blown.

你是不是爱上她了？

This is so petty for I have no prove and being so insecure, as always.


So many emotions are welling up inside me.
And that's the whole procedure of a tantrum, jealousy, incompetent, animosity, nonchalant, selfish.
I feel so helpless.
And because I have too much vanity in me, and a coward, so I shall type those silly password post. Sooner or never.
I should probably just give up and let go.

First, I was like DIE U BITCH.
And then DIE U FUCKING IDIOT, DIE U FUCKING JERK.
And then WHY WHY WHY WHY FUCK WHY.
And then FUCK FUCK FUCK.
And then Well, at least my vanity is satisfied.
Lastly, I hope that this is not true


Everything is so wrong.
I am so mad, so angry.
I wasn't expecting this.


Side-note: I can't

15 minutes Eternal

Hey guys!!! Long time no see, so it's really been a while. And today is not going to be about me, it's about my SPM presentation. See for yourselves. Comment, Criticize, Ignore, or just love it.
To Be Honest, some are from Wikipedia, some informations are from the little booklet I got, but iI don't think it affects anything because it's still presentation

But I always say, one's a company, two's a crowd, and three's a party

One of the most known and my absolute favourite quote, said by a world-known pop artist.

Remember the colourful Marilyn Monroe in out art textbooks? And idea who drew the Campbell Soup Can Series logos?

I met this artist in the Art Museum of Hong Kong. There’s a temporary exhibition, named “15 minutes eternal”, quoted by the the widely used expression "In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes." coined by Andy Warhol, who said in 1968.

As a side note, while I was walking my way through the exhibition, a girl said to her friend, “Why, everybody can be famous for 15 minutes…on the internet.”

Andrew Warhola, born on August 6, 1928 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, is an American artist who was a leading figure in the visual art movement known as pop art. His works explore the relationship between artistic expression, celebrity culture and advertisement that flourished by the 1960s. After a successful career as a commercial illustrator, Warhol became a renowned and sometimes controversial artist. 

When Andy Warhol graduated from university, he moved to New York City to pursue a career as a commercial artist. With his talent and skill, he became one of the most successful illustrators of the 1950s.

The 1960s is a significant period of Warhol’s career. He debuted the concept of "pop art"—paintings that focused on commercial goods. In 1962, he exhibited the now-iconic paintings of Campbell's soup cans. These small canvas works of everyday consumer products created a major stir in the art world, bringing both Warhol and pop art into the national spotlight for the first time. And not to forget, one of his masterpieces, the most widely-known portrait, Marilyn.

Campbell's Soup Can Series

Marilyn

In 1964, Warhol opened his own art studio, a large silver-painted warehouse known simply as "The Factory." The Factory quickly became one of New York City's premier cultural hotspots, the scene of lavish parties attended by the city's wealthiest socialites and celebrities.

Throughout the 1970s, hundreds of portrait commissions ensued as Warhol’s vast social network grew. These portrait became one of his main sources of income. Each portrait began with a Polaroid photo shot which was then made into a silkscreen. Warhol also made a large number of self-portraits alongside his portraits of celebrities. Warhol began expanding into new artistic mediums. Warhol experimented extensively with video art, producing more than 60 films. Some of his most famous films include Eat, which shows a man eating a mushroom for 45 minutes.  And also Empire, a silent, black and white, consists of eight hours and five minutes of continuous slow motion footage of the Empire State Building in New York City. He then commented: “The Empire State Building is a beauty.”

Warhol reaches the pinnacle of success in the art world in the early 1980s. He then went through the stage memento mori. Warhol died in New York City on February 22, 1987.

There’s another unique thing in the life of Andy Warhol which amazed me. In 1973, Warhol began saving ephemera from his daily life— letters, magazines, photographs, newspapers, souvenirs, childhood objects, even used plane tickets and food—which was sealed in plain cardboard boxes dubbed Time Capsules.  Warhol created 612 Time Capsules in over two decades.

斗嘴后的联想。

只要你再让我笑起来，我就会重新喜欢你，因为我就是那么傻。
今天是正月十五，元宵节，窝在家里，阅读Rick Riordan的 Mark Of Athena，追“甄嬛传“....普通的日子，只是难得星期日我还那么勤劳乖乖坐着做功课。
后来和我父母斗了嘴，一些否定我的梦想职业，工作。有听说过UCLA吗？位于美国洛杉机的一所大学，本来是我梦寐以求的，也是后来放弃了，除非在剩下的三年奢望可以有些改变：譬如说增加某某学院。其实之所以选择那里的其原因是因为UCLA离我另一个梦想不远，可以计算的距离，只需要16分钟。不过俗话说吧，鱼与熊掌不可兼得，被迫暂时把其一隔在一旁，假期的时候就程五个小时的车前往去！！所以现在目标就是University of California-Davis！美国很大，很大，小时候对其不了解，后来听说什么黑人强奸案，有点过意不去，产生小小的恐惧。对这个国家的了解，好少。
看来是去不成香港了，真的，那里很棒，大学很厉害。他们的步伐都好快，像郑其恩那样快，哈哈，因为我自己也都追不上。发现这点的时候，我是说香港人的步伐，非之郑其恩，是有个故事的，想要分享。
在香港，地铁非常发达，毕竟地又小，想去那里就可以去那里，不用汽车，地铁到处都是，所以对我来说空无污染指数比马来西亚低，可是不知道为什么看香港新闻台，空无污染指数都在黄色，红色那一栏了。唔...？有一天我和姨姨在九龙湾逛完书店准备乘搭地铁回家。我的脚步好慢哦，姨姨快速进去地铁的时候，还差好几个脚步，门就嘟嘟嘟关上了。这是第一次吧，或许大人们还不放心。没有特别夸张的表情和身体语言，就很冷静的彼此笑笑，看着姨姨就逐渐离我去。因为是第一次，也没有人料到，所以都没有人告诉我说遇到这样的情况该怎么做。我想，先等着，如果下一站姨姨回来了，我们就一起回去，如果不，我就自己回家。后来就悠闲做在凳子上看书了。哈哈，当然最后的结果是后者啦！！第一次一个人乘地铁，没有酸甜苦辣，说不尽的感觉。就跟麻木，很顺其自然，我当然懂得回家，地铁是我的第二个交通工具。第三个，就是小巴，后来走出地铁站，还要去到小巴站等指定的小巴带我回家。是小巴，比较小，比较简单。如果是那种双层巴我恐怕就死定了，需多多学习。
后来就越来越大胆，哈哈，乘着地铁去到尖沙咀，走过隧道前往尖东去了香港艺术馆，参观Andy Warhol的展览，那个就是另外一个故事啦~
所以我不去香港读大学了，虽然说不定，但是我会尽力。去过香港中文大学和香港大学，环境没有我想像的那么好，比起国外景色差得可远了，哈哈，本人是外貌协会的，希望别介意。不过我可以在faculty of science 诱过门的玻璃窗看到之前老师ppt上的电子显微镜，nice，很棒，很期待。
我不知道为什么Christina Perri的Something About December 后就会是 SNSD 的 Dancing Queen。Boo to walkman playlist。
午夜了。星期一快乐！掰~

New Diary

I suddenly had this stupid idea of owning a diary. Mainly because of what my teacher said to the students, believe me, it evoked a lot of passion. 

I already have a blog, two blogs, so it should be so "waste of time la" thing. A blog is made public, so the things that I can say are limited. VERY limited. If I could, one day I will revealed ALL my secrets on blog and then embraced for guiltiness. DENG JIU JIU (is "wait long long" ha... not "wait uncle"...-.- ) la!! Maybe 10, 20 years later.

So in my diary, I shall start with: One day, my chinese teacher say..... and then the rest shall be most of my hidden secrets. yeah, truly wtf lol.

I did wrote a diary before, and then I gave up because I totally CANNOT CANNOT CANNOT tahan any of the bullshitness I'm writing. The butterflies in my stomach I had before, and the thumps-thumps-thumps.... the rage I had, and stupid visions of becoming a vampire.... Thanks to you, Vampire Diaries. Not Twilight. (Twilight haven't publish lah!) In addition, that time I was 12 years old, I dunno Twilight publish anot already leh.... -.-

Okay, stop until here.

A new neighbour

So this particular neighbour, he is tall, charming, handsome. Caucasian? Eurasian? Very handsome. High-pointy nose, deep eyes, has a quite dark complexion.
We met only once, in the elevator. His clothes made it easier to guess that he is a white-collar worker.
The elevator is a bit cranked-up, the doors aren't working properly, like the book with teeth (?) which tried to bite Harry Potter in the 3rd movie. He went inside, with another woman, who she is obviously from Malaysia and lives here, apparently, they know each other, but not long. Another lady, sophisticated, behind me, unfortunately, was "attacked" by this stupid elevator and so is my brother. The man looked shocked seeing the incident, while both woman yelped a little. I laid my back on the elevator wall, face looking flat, unsure what to do.
The elevator went up, up, up.... And this man noticed something from the woman beside her, and happily said : " Oh! Are you working in XXX?" His voice, is really "ear-catching", hint of maturity, the unidentified accent. Sophisticated woman, surprised, replied :"Yes, yeah!" And the man said :"Well, I am working in there too!" And I heard laughter from both voices and was able to make a small smile from this weary face of mine. The man explained that he hadn't got his label yet, maybe he was new, or a trans. ? The elevator stopped at floor 6, and the woman waved to the man and stepped out.
The man then turned to his partner, said :".....I had just only learned 'Terima Kasih, Selamat pagi...'" His partner chuckled, as the elevator doors opened again, on the 10th floor. "This way please." The woman said, and they walk away together. My brother, me and a bag of delicacies are those that can be seen in the CCTV left.

I was truly fascinated. I love when people speak, conversations are so fascinating, interesting.
I remembered the time when I was in the airport, standing in line to check in, and a foreigner was talking with a couple behind me. Both are caucasian. It was easy to guess that they never met before. "So where are you going to." "We are going to Hong Kong." "Wow. Hong Kong, yeah, that's a really nice place." The foreigner, who I think likes to travel, started talking about the countries he'd visited. Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam, Australia.... The other man listened to him, and his wife, wowed, ooh and aahs. And then they started chatting, random chat, which I most listen is probably sarcasm, to something I don't know. The accents are different, and that really attracts me. I'd really wanted to join in, when he said something that is quite my thing, but then I resisted, which is like letting a chance fly away.

When I really started talking to strangers is when I went to the HK Science Museum. A father, with his sons, were looking as this machine, which can test how fast is your response. They were after me, and were not sure how to operate it. So I spoke, and my mind was blank but full with words, of course   I blubbered a little and got shy. Saying "It's really fun!" and then walked away smiling.

That's my experience. And then I can imagine myself having a conversation with the professors when I am in university. I think that it would be a joy.

Untitled

If I was upset I wouldn't even want to talk to you in the first place because you are always hurting me and annoying me. I tried to know you more and you just push me away. So I say we are not even suppose to meet in this sort of way, not even suppose to know each other this way. I was suppose to hate you, despise you, ignore you, and get you the shit out of my life.

But then why am I not?