Talking to myself
Yeah, sure I could probably find one or two things to feel proud of, but at times I just wanna voice the words of the devil on my shoulder.
I'm studying chinese. I'm putting almost 4 hours of every day into it not counting all the hours in between that I spend thinking about what the chinese word for this or that is, but I'm studying a language that maybe 4 billion people can already speak fluently... sometimes this strikes me as not very smart... well mostly just today. And of those people who can already speak the language, maybe 1 billion might already be able to speak english as well. Am I waisting my time?
Comparison is a fucking pill isn't it? You can happily plodding along, doing something that makes you happy, and then you get an email from a friend, four years younger than you with the title, "Accounts Manager", or some other grand title to their name. All of a sudden I feel like a complete loser, someone who has spent 4 years of their life becoming semi-specialised in a profession I don't even like that much - teaching.
What am I good for?
And friends? Where are they? Why are they always working these days?
Maybe if I should just put my head back in my hole and forget these questions. Most of them are rhetorical, less pending for an answer, or beyond answers, and only consolation will help.
I'm not that unhappy. Some things could be better; many things could be worse. ;)
I'm studying chinese. I'm putting almost 4 hours of every day into it not counting all the hours in between that I spend thinking about what the chinese word for this or that is, but I'm studying a language that maybe 4 billion people can already speak fluently... sometimes this strikes me as not very smart... well mostly just today. And of those people who can already speak the language, maybe 1 billion might already be able to speak english as well. Am I waisting my time?
Comparison is a fucking pill isn't it? You can happily plodding along, doing something that makes you happy, and then you get an email from a friend, four years younger than you with the title, "Accounts Manager", or some other grand title to their name. All of a sudden I feel like a complete loser, someone who has spent 4 years of their life becoming semi-specialised in a profession I don't even like that much - teaching.
What am I good for?
And friends? Where are they? Why are they always working these days?
Maybe if I should just put my head back in my hole and forget these questions. Most of them are rhetorical, less pending for an answer, or beyond answers, and only consolation will help.
I'm not that unhappy. Some things could be better; many things could be worse. ;)
posted by PROCRASTITRON at 2:14 AM
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